RANDOM
by HKD HariKariDemon
Summary: Something that might scare you...or make your chest burst open because you're laughing too hard...hope you don't die


Planes, trains, and autowheelchairs, a story about what happens to Heihachi after Kazuya beats the crap out of him.  
  
Kazuya went to pick up Heihachi from the hospital, when he saw him he couldn't help but laugh. Heihachi was sitting there with a blank look on his face and drool dribbling down his chin. But he didn't know how much trouble the spoony bard was gonna be this time. Heihachi immediately started wheeling away, Kazuya immediately screamed "HELP!!! RUNAWAY BASTARD" Luckily for Kazuya a semi-truck slowed the speed of Heihachi's wheelchair.back to the hospital for Hei. "I'm sorry that happened to you..*sniff*" *Gets slapped on the head* "Oh, thanks son. I didn't want this to turn into a soap opera" **Pulls plug** "MWAHAHA DIE BASTARD" Lee then walked in and said "I GOTS A HAMSTER HAMSTER HAMSTER I GOTS A HAMSTER AND YOU DON'T NOT!" Kazuya just pulled out his trusty gun and shot the head off the hamster. "You no longer have a hamster..I win." (Okay time to change my title)  
  
A completely random story. Kazuya sat at home watching the football game and drinking beer. Jin walked in and said "Hi dad" Kazuya said "Hey, what are you doing in my house MR. Octopus? Get out. I don't want no octopi in my house." Jin said "You're blatantly drunk, yet you don't fail to realize the plural of octopus is octopi." Kazuya said "WHAT?! There's no such thing as a british octopus! You're crazy, you can't get me Mr. Calimari Craig!" "Um..I'll be leaving now." said Jin. "THAT'S RIGHT NO SOLICITORS!" When Jin walked outside he saw a lawn gnome and wondered Does that have any skittles in it? ***THE NEXT DAY*** Kazuya walked whistling down the street and got dirty looks from people on the street Kazuya finally snapped and said "DON'T LOOK AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE!!!" Everyone continued their days normally, Kazuya didn't realize he was still drunk and he was whistling "What shall we do with the drunken sailor?" ***AT NIGHT*** "I can't sleep" said Kazuya. "Wanna play go fish?" Jin walked in "YOU SINNER! GO FISH??? THAT'S A.card game." He got blank stares. WHAT?!?! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE YOU NEVER STOP STARING AT ME!" He then fell on to the ground and started to have seizures..Kazuya just laughed.and got smaked by Jun "OW!" ***MORNING** "WHERE'S MY COFFEE WOMAN? I SWEAR TO GOD IF I DON'T GET MY COFFEE, SOMEONE'S GONNA BE SHITTIN' OUT LLAMAS!!!" Everyone stared at Kazuya "What in the hell are you talking about?" "I dunno" Kazuya was smacked again. "OW! I think I'll go on a walk.and I swear boy.if you take my lawn gnome skittles I'll, GOD I AM MESSED UP TODAY!" "You are everyday" said Jin "Don't make me choke you" "Yessir" ***ON THE WALK*** The nature was beautiful, squirrels eating each other, pyro's burning chipmunks. Kazuya loved these sights and sounds.that's just creepy. ***LATER*** "What's this? Café land?" There were roller coasters inside a café. "Why in the hell would anybody want to ride a roller coaster in a café?" Kazuya walked in anyway. "AHHHH!!!" Everybody turned and stared, Kazuya had shot the mascot, a cat. "It licked my purple suit!" He was immediately kicked out. ***Next Day*** "Jin, do frogs fly?" asked Ogre. "No, Ogre frogs do not fly. Why do you ask?" replied Jin. "CAUSE THERE'S A BIG GREEN THING FLYING NEXT TO MY WINDOW!!!" "That's just people throwing rancid mangoes at your window, Ogre" "Oh, okay, now I will snore again" Jin slapped his head "Ow!! Dad why'd you hit me in the head" "Because Hari put that you slapped yourself in the head!" (Kazuya, be nice... "Do I have to?" YES because I am your master. Now. stop foolin' around.) "I'm sorry Jin." "You are!?" "Ch. in your dreams boy." "YOU SUCK" "DON'T EVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO ME OR I'LL BURRN A HOLE THROUGH THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD WITH A SHARP METAL POINTED ROD! YOU GOT THAT BOY?" "Yessir. Sorry sir. Back to work." Ogre then said "I'm a pig and if pigs, can fly, then why is Ray Charles blind?" Kazuya replied "Ogre, what're you on?" Hwoarang said "Oh, yeah I gave him some of my marijuana dude!" "BOB! I WILL KILL YOU!" "Dude. My names not Bob! Or is it? Duuuuuuude!" Kazuya then pushed Hwoarang out of a window. "Ooh. He ain't gonna be in Tekken goes to the Great Wall of China" "Well" said Kazuya "Actually, he is" Everyone just sat there and sobbed. Jin said "AND FOR GOD'S SAKE! IF HE TAKES MY LAWN GNOME SKITTLES I'LL" Jin was then shot multiple times by Kazuya. Everyone stared at him. "Hey, I gave him a fair warning." "Actually, you didn't!" "Shut up! Stop staring at me! I wanna go home! WAHHHHH" ***An unknown time in an alternate dimension*** Chong: Hey Bob! Do you like bananas? Bob: Dude! Bananas are weird dude! WHOOOOOAAA! ***Back to reality*** ("What the hell was that Hari?" I dunno. "Oh in that case" *Whacks Hari with 2X4* Hey, you're lucky I let you get away with that.) Kazuya and Jin were walking to the movie store to get some movies. Some of the titles were "Slugs from the evil planet Zoorf" "I ate a banana and it made me choke" "Hobgoblins" "Don't touch the haunted bowling ball" "Sacred fruit has been stolen" and "Men that shave their Weewoos!" Kazuya said "Jin? What are you doing in the 80's movies section?" "I dunno, I saw a movie called Attack of the Killer Lawn Gnome and I." Jin was shot multiple times again. Kazuya was asked to leave. ("Hey I won't have anywhere left to go if I keep getting kicked out!" That's your problem) A German monkey then drove by in a racecar singing "To say hello in German, you must say Guten'tag" Kazuya shot him. "Dad.doesn't that ever run out of ammo?" "Hell no" "Oh, okay, just wondering." Kazuya looked at the sunset and saw a plane that said "If you are Kazuya Mishima, we would like you to join the NRA" Kazuya shot the banner multiple times. Jin called the mental hospital. The people tied him up in a straightjacket. "NO!!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING IT WAS THE LAWN GNOMES!!! IT WAS THE LAWN GNOMES!!!" Jin snickered quite loudly.then he was shot multiple times. There stood Kat-Zumi. "Oh there you are Kat-Zumi I've been looking all over for you!" said Jun. Kat-Zumi just raised one eyebrow and laughed hysterically. "WAIT A MINUTE! Cats can't laugh. That's just creepy.oh well, let's go inside and feed you" Kazuya was inside. "How'd you get here" said Jun. Kazuya pointed to a bunch of midgets "We represent, the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild" sang the munchkins "I see" said Jun.except for one thing..she had ink in her eyes. Jin walked in "AHHH MY MOM'S TURNING IN TO A DEMENTED MONSTER WITH BLACK EYES!! THE HORROR!!! THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Calm down Jin" said Kazuya. Kazuya was then shot multiple times. Then Kat-Zumi was strangled. Jin got knocked out by chloroform, and Jun fainted. Kazuya was still awake, he pointed. "I.told you.the lawn.gnomes.did it." He fainted. And the lawn gnome went out to torture some other poor hopeless souls. He laughed, but then he broke. The devil came up and said "Oops, I crapped my pants, does anyone have some depends?..Please? I guess not." The devil was then shot multiple times as a silhouette ran off into the sunlight. ***To the review board*** Cheech: Whoa man, I'm so high, I don't even know what I'm saying. WHOOAAA! Bob: Is that Snoop Doggy Dogg? Oh, I guess not. WHOAAA! 


End file.
